Not So Innocent
by Elburn
Summary: OoTP: Finding triumph in Ginny's age, Mrs. Weasley has sent the youngest Weasley to her room before telling Harry the details about the Order. Ginny reflects on her experiences, deciding that she's able to handle the adults' secret....


**"Not so Innocent"  
****-------------------------**

"It's not fair, it's NOT fair!"

Sent to bed by her mother, Ginny Weasley slammed the kitchen door behind her and trudged loudly up the stairs. Harry Potter had arrived at 12 Grimmauld Place, from Privet Drive, that evening. Now, after dinner, Harry was asking questions about Voldemort and the activities of the Order of the Phoenix. Mrs Weasley had been defeated in her attempt at protecting the older children, and had found victory in Ginny's age. She was the youngest child. Some things, it seemed, were not for her ears.

But being truthful, hadn't Ginny faced as much as Harry during her first year of Hogwarts? She sobbed loudly and defiantly wiped her eyes.

"I'm _not_ a child!" Ginny shouted angrily, kicking the air and hitting nothing. "It's not fair!"

Hadn't it been _her_ that Tom Riddle had possessed? Hadn't it been _her_ who had fought Voldemort's influence, on her own, for so many months? Hadn't it been _her_ who had done the Dark Lord's dirty work at Hogwarts? If anything, Ginny decided, she had faced more than Hermione and Ron. She had faced a dark influence on her life that even Harry had never seen. Ginny stomped down the corridor in fury, still crying. In her second year, the Dementors had forced her to face the worst memories of that experience, reminding her that innocence had been lost, innocence that she could never hope to regain.

But just because she was the youngest child, Ginny had been judged and sentenced, sent to her room unjustly. She wouldn't hear that which she was certain she could handle. Just because she was the youngest child.

Still pounding the floorboards, Ginny made for the stairs, punched the air and again exclaimed, "It's just not FAIR!"

Ginny's wails and sobs were instantly drowned out by screaming. Mrs. Black's portrait had woken up.

"FILTH! BLOOD TRAITOR! SHAME ON MY FAMILY!"

"Shut up!" Ginny challenged, storming towards the portrait that was hanging on the wall. Mrs. Black's eyes were rolling madly in their sockets, and the waxy skin had an unhealthy shine to it, which Ginny had always found slightly creepy. The girl grabbed the wand that lay on the table, then pointed it at Mrs. Black. "Shut up!" She shouted, getting increasingly shrill as she raised her voice further. "Shut up, _shut up_, SHUT U--"

"_Expelliarmus_!"

The wand flew out of Ginny's hand, transforming into a rubber chicken before landing. After watching the wand land, Ginny turned her attention to her hands, finding them interesting all of a sudden. She couldn't bring herself to look at the one who had cast the disarming charm.

"Alright, Ginny?" It was Professor Lupin. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the screaming portrait. That voice contained controlled power, a soothing calmness, and an unbearable disappointment all rolled into one. Ginny was self-consciously aware that she had nearly cast magic, the sort of magic that could have lead to her expulsion from Hogwarts on grounds of underage wizardry. As that fact sank in, she felt her heart pounding uncomfortably against her ribcage, not helped by her hyperventilating earlier, and a deepened sorrow filled her heart, crushing every flame of anger.

"Ginny?" Lupin prompted, quieter now, but just as pointed.

"N-no…" Ginny replied, then ran to the stairs and up to the first floor, crying again, more from sorrow than anger. She heard Lupin calling after her to wait, pleading with her, appealing to her fragile trust in him.

Ginny hadn't trusted many people after the Tom Riddle incident. In her second year, the Dementors had forced her to relive her experience, and in particular, a memory of high-pitched laughter. This was exacerbated when she was ambushed in the corridors by a Boggart, which had been trapped in a suit of armour. It had morphed into Tom Riddle, who laughed at her, holding up the diary, forcing her to read it over and over again. Ginny had collapsed to her knees, crying, shaking, not knowing how to make it go away. Lupin had found her and subdued the Boggart into a trunk. Because of this, he knew her deepest fear. Dumbledore had told him that a student had fallen victim to possession the previous year, but until that day, Lupin told her, he had never been able to put a face on that person. Ginny had told him everything that day, placing her trust in him.

Drying her eyes, forcing back her tears, Ginny turned back and sat on the top step, peering through the rails. Lupin was dealing with the portrait. She wanted to go back downstairs and talk to him. But people would be waiting for him in the kitchen.

"My apologies, Mrs. Black." Lupin was murmuring, squinting up at her,andpointing his wand at the still screaming portrait. "_Stupefy_!" The portrait stopped screaming profanities, stunned, and Lupin dragged the curtain back across it. The rubber chicken still lay in the hallway. Lupin picked it up, inspecting it, seemingly curious. He chuckled quietly, and placed in on a table in the hallway. But this amusement didn't last, and the Professor frowned, stowing his wand back in the safety of his robe pocket. He shook his head, then looked up.

Ginny tried to avoid gasping at Lupin made eye contact. Her heart ached as if being crushed, Colour was rising in her cheeks, and the heat extended all the way to the roots of her hair. She was about to whisper an apology when Lupin pressed a finger to his lips. They had to stay quiet, or else risk waking up the portrait again. Ginny looked away, then got to her feet, tears returning to her eyes as she continued the long walk to her room. She heard Lupin heave a sigh and return to the basement. Rubbing her eyes, Ginny tried to fight the urge to cry. She wasn't a child anymore. She had fought Voldemort just as Harry had. She was not so innocent.

-o-

**A/N: **Yay, my first Ginny-centric fanfic. :D The references to Lupin having heard about Ginny's experiences from Dumbledore are a tip of the hat to Sugar Quill writer, FernWithy. I loved that fanfic ("I hear him laughing"), and liked the idea of Ginny's deepest fear being the memory of Tom Riddle laughing at her, to the point of including it as her Boggart. Let me know what you all think.


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